Review: Devil (2010)

John Erick Dowdle's Devil, starring Logan Marshall Green, Chris Messina, and Bokeem Woodbine (I don't know them either) introduces its audience to a group of not-so-great people who are forced to put up with each other on the same elevator. The longer the wait continues, the more they suspect and detest each other, and things begin to seem a bit supernatural. A detective (Messina) viewing from an outside perspective, is becoming more and more apprehensive to the idea that one of these individuals may be the devil himself. This may sound like a premise nearly incapable of being dull, but somehow the cast and crew accomplishes just that. Although the phrase "from the mind of M. Night Shyamalan" used to mean something, that time has long since passed; it's a shame the producers didn't realize this. Devil is initiated with a splendid idea, however tumbles the rest of the way. The sub-par acting and slack directing of the film only made matters worse. There have been many successful slow building classic horror films (i.e. Rosemary's Baby, The Shining), but what makes such films classic is their ability to finish with a forte of an ending, which Devil far from delivers. Entering the cinema, I was sort of expecting a sluggish film, yet received even less. Leaving the theater, I was deeply unsatisfied as a horror fan. For a mystery horror flick about a demon aboard an elevator of strangers, Devil is monotonously stale and otherwise not fulfilling. I give Devil 11/2 stars.

Redbox Review: The Fourth Kind (2009)

Yikes! The film is Olatunde Osunsanmi's The Fourth Kind, starring Milla Jovovich. I chose to title the review for what it is- a Redbox review- meaning it is worth no more than a dollar. The film takes place in Alaska and follows the research of Dr. Abbey Tyler (Jovovich), a therapist that is beginning to uncover strange coincidences between unrelated patients concerning an owl outside their window at night. The further Dr. Tyler explores these abnormal incidents, the more she feels they are of a higher intelligence and of another world. My biggest issue with The Fourth Kind is its attempt to persuade the viewer into believing that its based on some sort of documented evidence- which it's not. The film refers to no-name actress Charlotte Milchard's character as "the real Dr. Tyler", whereas she is credited as "the 'real' Dr. Tyler". Some scenes consist of a split screen, including one side of the screen depicting the actors playing these "real" individuals, and the other side portraying the "real" footage. The problem with this is that neither side of the screen is actual footage, leaving inquisitive viewers confused of the writer/director's motives. If a film can make the audience believe, if only for a moment, that what they are watching is real, than it has succeeded above all expectations. Not only did Fourth fail miserably at this, but it failed to thrill this viewer even once. Between the ongoing lies, c-list acting (sadly even from Jovovich), the camera work being equivalent to a high-school educational video, and an overall feeble premise, Fourth Kind wouldn't even qualify as a worthy day-time SyFy original movie. This film earns 1 star on a good day.

Review of an Attempted Viewing: Battlefield Earth (2000)

Is that a terrible movie in your pants or are you just happy to see me Travolta?

Hoooly sh*t. So I was recently dared to endure the pain of the infamously awful Battlefield Earth. I was strolling through F.Y.E. today and saw a copy for $1.97. "What the hell?", I thought. Let me begin with a Synopsis. Battlefield Earth was a science fiction novel written by L. Ron Hubbard in 1982. Hubbard also composed a soundtrack to the novel and literally named it Space Jazz, no joke. The novel takes place on earth in the year 3000, a time in which earth is run by an alien race that has virtually enslaved and almost completely exterminated the entire human race. Humans are ready to fight back. The novel brought about much controversy due to the fact that the church of scientology reportedly bought a ridiculous amount of copies of the book, resulting in it earning 1.5 million dollars by 1983. John Travolta, a scientologist himself, decided immediately upon reading the book that he wanted to make a movie adaptation. This brings us to the year 2000 in which Travolta produced, starred, and obtained a director (Roger Christian) for the film. I wish that I could give the film zero stars, but that would require I finish watching the film. I did not. In the first 20 minutes of the film (which is all I could endure), I witnessed an impressively dreadful performance from the not-so-dreadful Barry Pepper. I was in awe at the scene transactions resembling a Power-Point presentation. Additionally, I simply cannot comprehend the thought process of the costume department issuing costumes equivalent to an eight year-olds halloween wear. And finally, Travolta's god-awful acting was no shock, but I may never view the once promising Forest Whitaker the same ever again. I'm pretty sure this film was an attempt to brainwash the human race into buying into Travolta's fantasy, but those crazy aliens will never get this guy. Battlefield Earth is to the film industry what Hitler is to Germany's reputation. I watched 20 minutes of this film so that you don't have to watch any of it. You're Welcome.