Review: Savages (2012)

Oliver Stone's Savages tells the tale of marijuana dealers Ben (Aaron Johnson) and Chon (Taylor Kitsch). Chon- an Afghanistan/Iraq war vet and a hardened shell of a man- and Ben- a Buddhist graduate of Berkley, a volunteer in third world countries and believer in peace- make quite the partnership. They share the highest esteem in the marijuana distribution business; they share the cars and beach-side mansion; they share the riches that come with the job. Most passionately, they share O (as in Shakespeare's Othello). Though she receives the upmost respect from Ben and Chon, O has acquired the exact opposite from previous men in her life. There's no jealousy between the three; they all three love eachother equally. Chon "f**ks" her, and Ben "makes love". The reality and downside to the fairytale is that it's dangerous for men of their grandeur and wealth to have such a precious thing as O in their life. Unfortunately for this unwavering trio, the Mexican druglords after a cut of their business know of this vulnerability as well as the viewer. When threatened with missing out on the boys' business, drug lord Elena (Salma Hayek) and her right hand men Lado (Benicio Del Toro) and Alex (Damien Bichir) kidnap O with the threat of a slow death to inspire the boys to hand over $13 million. The boys will stop at nothing, eliminating anyone in their path to get her back.




Aaron Johnson's (Kick Ass) great; always is. Nuff said. Taylor Kitsch is the new Keanu Reeves, which is not necessarily a bad thing if he sticks with the right directors like Reeves did. Stone was wise with his use of Kitsch. Neither Reeves nor Kitsch can express emotion well, so a film like Savages is ideal (as his character is a shell of a man after the war; a killing machine) for Kitsch in the same way The Matrix and Point Break were ideal for Keanu. Salma Hayek cast as the drug lord was a perfect fit- if for no other reason- because she's married to a billionaire in real life and her character is fittingly filthy rich (she has people at her manshion who massage her feet, cook her food, etc). Even John Travolta was standable, as he occasionally can be, in this film as a loud mouth DEA agent. These positive choices, thankfully numerous, barely overshadow the worst choice ever- Blake Lively in a lead role. Punch me in the face. Most will claim that Lively was the worst part of the great film that was The Town. Beneficially for that film however, she had a minor role as a snitching, slutty ex-girlfriend of the protagonist (Ben Affleck, also the director). It was easy to dislike her, but it's what the film called for. Oliver Stone wanted us to love Blake Lively's character in Savages and, speaking for myself, I wanted to make Jim Carrey's "most annoying sound in the world" everytime she opened her mouth- which was a lot. Lively narrated the film in an intentionally, over-dramatized, raspy, "sexy" voice that left me wondering what could have been if a more talented, easier-on-the-ears voice over such as Gilbert Godfrey had taken the role. Thankfully for Stone and viewers around the world, the rest of the film was an exciting, smart, and at times funny thrillride. Stone returns to the violence and brutality we all loved in Natural Born Killers. The two leads worked together like a new age Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (which were referenced in the film, surely due to the inspiration it supplied Stone). Benicio Del Toro gives his best performance in years (probably since Che: Part I and II) as a sadistic, murderous cartel leader. His remarkably detestable portrayal is on par with Christoph Waltz's Nazi in Inglorious Basterds- just wow. Between the alluring photography of California and Mexico, the return to aggression from Stone, and the excitement of young, rich, successful lovers chasing fortune and a wild ride, Savages was an enjoyable summer flick.        


I give Savages a B. 


Blake lively would fit in most properly in music videos-- a pretty face with no lines. If you LOVE Blake Lively, Savages will be your Gone With the Wind.




              

Review of an Attempted Viewing: Battlefield Earth (2000)

Is that a terrible movie in your pants or are you just happy to see me Travolta?

Hoooly sh*t. So I was recently dared to endure the pain of the infamously awful Battlefield Earth. I was strolling through F.Y.E. today and saw a copy for $1.97. "What the hell?", I thought. Let me begin with a Synopsis. Battlefield Earth was a science fiction novel written by L. Ron Hubbard in 1982. Hubbard also composed a soundtrack to the novel and literally named it Space Jazz, no joke. The novel takes place on earth in the year 3000, a time in which earth is run by an alien race that has virtually enslaved and almost completely exterminated the entire human race. Humans are ready to fight back. The novel brought about much controversy due to the fact that the church of scientology reportedly bought a ridiculous amount of copies of the book, resulting in it earning 1.5 million dollars by 1983. John Travolta, a scientologist himself, decided immediately upon reading the book that he wanted to make a movie adaptation. This brings us to the year 2000 in which Travolta produced, starred, and obtained a director (Roger Christian) for the film. I wish that I could give the film zero stars, but that would require I finish watching the film. I did not. In the first 20 minutes of the film (which is all I could endure), I witnessed an impressively dreadful performance from the not-so-dreadful Barry Pepper. I was in awe at the scene transactions resembling a Power-Point presentation. Additionally, I simply cannot comprehend the thought process of the costume department issuing costumes equivalent to an eight year-olds halloween wear. And finally, Travolta's god-awful acting was no shock, but I may never view the once promising Forest Whitaker the same ever again. I'm pretty sure this film was an attempt to brainwash the human race into buying into Travolta's fantasy, but those crazy aliens will never get this guy. Battlefield Earth is to the film industry what Hitler is to Germany's reputation. I watched 20 minutes of this film so that you don't have to watch any of it. You're Welcome.

Reviews from the Vault: Pulp Fiction

Ah yes. The one... the only... Pulp Fiction. Quentin Tarantino brought a tale to the screen in 1994 that was like nothing told before. Pulp Fiction follows two hit men named Vincent Vega (John Travolta) and Jules (Samuel L. Jackson); a boxer (Bruce Willis); two bank-robbing sweethearts (Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer); and a gangster's wife (Uma Thurman), all of whom are having a complicated day. Everything is right about this film, including it's special appearance from Christopher walken. The cast alone was enough to attract viewers to the film, including arguably the best performances by Travolta and Jackson. The dialog itself was strong enough to be it's own movie and create tension in the room that could be cut with a knife. From the odd couple-like relationship between Jackson and Travolta, to the "date" night with Thurman, to the epic revenge scene posted below involving Willis and Rhames, the characters created by Tarantino and portrayed by the actors are arguably more interesting than most real life people. The viewer tends to find themselves tremendously focused for a movie that is so famously scrambled. From it's realistic elements to it's supernatural ones ( i.e. Ving Rhames' glowing suit case that is rumored to contain his soul), Pulp Fiction is one of the only movies that runs 154 minutes, yet under stays it's visit. For that I give Tarantino's cult classic a solid four stars.