Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises Final Trailer

Alright Bat-tards, here it is- the final full-length trailer for The Dark Knight Rises. It's a bit of a surprise that it has been released on the interwebs before the premiere of The Avengers this Friday as it is said to be attached to the front of this weekend's superhero blockbuster. It seems to make more sense for Warner Brothers to make us go pay money for their movie in order to see a trailer for another one of their films. But then again, it's The Avengers and I think it's safe to say that it will annihilate the box office for many weeks to come, regardless of what teases us before the opening credits as the film is possibly tied with The Dark Knight Rises as the most anticipated flick of the year (right in front of Ridley Scott's Alien prequel, Prometheus). For whatever reason you've decided to grace us with its presence on the web, we thank you, Warner Bros.

Here's the breakdown:

:15- Catwoman exclaims: "There's a storm coming"... clearly a response to BatBale's line in preceding Bat films, speaking of the shit show Gotham will no doubt witness at the hands of Bane.

:21- We see Bane unmasked on a plane that will soon be highjacked by the masked villain himself (this knowledge is gathered from the 6 minute prologue attached to MI:4 last year) 

:33- We witness that very plane ripped apart by Bane and his men

:36- Bane: "I'm Gotham's reckoning (?)"... an example of the early unintelligibility of Bane's voice which has (according to Nolan and Tom Hardy) been repaired for the film's release.

:38- the collapse of Heinz Field, brought about by Bane and his men to draw attention to the dictator-like villain as he addresses Gotham ("Take control of your city")

:43- a glimpse of our new hero- Joseph Gordon-Levitt- a Gotham beat cop that is said to form into a sidekick of sorts... a man that believes in Gotham as much as Batman.

:48- Gotham's bridges exploding... to prevent any escape of Gotham's citizens.

:56- Batman in a hole. Is it the Lazarus Pit? (look it up) Is it a personalized cell in Arkham Asylum?

1:00- It's certainly at the hands of Bane

1:06- Bruce Wayne/Batman: Why didn't you just kill me?
         Bane: You're punishment must be more severe
         Me: *cumshot*

1:12- the already iconic shot of Bane discarding a broken Batman mask

1:17-1:21- a camouflaged duplicate of Batman's Tumbler. Who does it belong to? And Catwoman is in possession of Batman's Batpod.

1:27- Alfred: "I won't bury you... I've buried enough members of the Wayne Family"... 
...I love you Michael Caine

1:39- The riot

1:50-2:05- a montage that I can only express my appreciation of with another erection

2:07- the best glimpse yet of The Bat Plane... which I'm told will be referred to as simply, The Bat.

Enjoy, Nerds! (says the guy who nerded out so hard he had to break down a trailer with his nerdisms)