Saturday, July 7, 2012

Review: Savages (2012)

Oliver Stone's Savages tells the tale of marijuana dealers Ben (Aaron Johnson) and Chon (Taylor Kitsch). Chon- an Afghanistan/Iraq war vet and a hardened shell of a man- and Ben- a Buddhist graduate of Berkley, a volunteer in third world countries and believer in peace- make quite the partnership. They share the highest esteem in the marijuana distribution business; they share the cars and beach-side mansion; they share the riches that come with the job. Most passionately, they share O (as in Shakespeare's Othello). Though she receives the upmost respect from Ben and Chon, O has acquired the exact opposite from previous men in her life. There's no jealousy between the three; they all three love eachother equally. Chon "f**ks" her, and Ben "makes love". The reality and downside to the fairytale is that it's dangerous for men of their grandeur and wealth to have such a precious thing as O in their life. Unfortunately for this unwavering trio, the Mexican druglords after a cut of their business know of this vulnerability as well as the viewer. When threatened with missing out on the boys' business, drug lord Elena (Salma Hayek) and her right hand men Lado (Benicio Del Toro) and Alex (Damien Bichir) kidnap O with the threat of a slow death to inspire the boys to hand over $13 million. The boys will stop at nothing, eliminating anyone in their path to get her back.

Aaron Johnson's (Kick Ass) great; always is. Nuff said. Taylor Kitsch is the new Keanu Reeves, which is not necessarily a bad thing if he sticks with the right directors like Reeves did. Stone was wise with his use of Kitsch. Neither Reeves nor Kitsch can express emotion well, so a film like Savages is ideal (as his character is a shell of a man after the war; a killing machine) for Kitsch in the same way The Matrix and Point Break were ideal for Keanu. Salma Hayek cast as the drug lord was a perfect fit- if for no other reason- because she's married to a billionaire in real life and her character is fittingly filthy rich (she has people at her manshion who massage her feet, cook her food, etc). Even John Travolta was standable, as he occasionally can be, in this film as a loud mouth DEA agent. These positive choices, thankfully numerous, barely overshadow the worst choice ever- Blake Lively in a lead role. Punch me in the face. Most will claim that Lively was the worst part of the great film that was The Town. Beneficially for that film however, she had a minor role as a snitching, slutty ex-girlfriend of the protagonist (Ben Affleck, also the director). It was easy to dislike her, but it's what the film called for. Oliver Stone wanted us to love Blake Lively's character in Savages and, speaking for myself, I wanted to make Jim Carrey's "most annoying sound in the world" everytime she opened her mouth- which was a lot. Lively narrated the film in an intentionally, over-dramatized, raspy, "sexy" voice that left me wondering what could have been if a more talented, easier-on-the-ears voice over such as Gilbert Godfrey had taken the role. Thankfully for Stone and viewers around the world, the rest of the film was an exciting, smart, and at times funny thrillride. Stone returns to the violence and brutality we all loved in Natural Born Killers. The two leads worked together like a new age Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid (which were referenced in the film, surely due to the inspiration it supplied Stone). Benicio Del Toro gives his best performance in years (probably since Che: Part I and II) as a sadistic, murderous cartel leader. His remarkably detestable portrayal is on par with Christoph Waltz's Nazi in Inglorious Basterds- just wow. Between the alluring photography of California and Mexico, the return to aggression from Stone, and the excitement of young, rich, successful lovers chasing fortune and a wild ride, Savages was an enjoyable summer flick.        

I give Savages a B

Blake lively would fit in most properly in music videos-- a pretty face with no lines. If you LOVE Blake Lively, Savages will be your Gone With the Wind.


Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Dark Knight Rises Final Trailer

Alright Bat-tards, here it is- the final full-length trailer for The Dark Knight Rises. It's a bit of a surprise that it has been released on the interwebs before the premiere of The Avengers this Friday as it is said to be attached to the front of this weekend's superhero blockbuster. It seems to make more sense for Warner Brothers to make us go pay money for their movie in order to see a trailer for another one of their films. But then again, it's The Avengers and I think it's safe to say that it will annihilate the box office for many weeks to come, regardless of what teases us before the opening credits as the film is possibly tied with The Dark Knight Rises as the most anticipated flick of the year (right in front of Ridley Scott's Alien prequel, Prometheus). For whatever reason you've decided to grace us with its presence on the web, we thank you, Warner Bros.

Here's the breakdown:

:15- Catwoman exclaims: "There's a storm coming"... clearly a response to BatBale's line in preceding Bat films, speaking of the shit show Gotham will no doubt witness at the hands of Bane.

:21- We see Bane unmasked on a plane that will soon be highjacked by the masked villain himself (this knowledge is gathered from the 6 minute prologue attached to MI:4 last year) 

:33- We witness that very plane ripped apart by Bane and his men

:36- Bane: "I'm Gotham's reckoning (?)"... an example of the early unintelligibility of Bane's voice which has (according to Nolan and Tom Hardy) been repaired for the film's release.

:38- the collapse of Heinz Field, brought about by Bane and his men to draw attention to the dictator-like villain as he addresses Gotham ("Take control of your city")

:43- a glimpse of our new hero- Joseph Gordon-Levitt- a Gotham beat cop that is said to form into a sidekick of sorts... a man that believes in Gotham as much as Batman.

:48- Gotham's bridges exploding... to prevent any escape of Gotham's citizens.

:56- Batman in a hole. Is it the Lazarus Pit? (look it up) Is it a personalized cell in Arkham Asylum?

1:00- It's certainly at the hands of Bane

1:06- Bruce Wayne/Batman: Why didn't you just kill me?
         Bane: You're punishment must be more severe
         Me: *cumshot*

1:12- the already iconic shot of Bane discarding a broken Batman mask

1:17-1:21- a camouflaged duplicate of Batman's Tumbler. Who does it belong to? And Catwoman is in possession of Batman's Batpod.

1:27- Alfred: "I won't bury you... I've buried enough members of the Wayne Family"... 
...I love you Michael Caine

1:39- The riot

1:50-2:05- a montage that I can only express my appreciation of with another erection

2:07- the best glimpse yet of The Bat Plane... which I'm told will be referred to as simply, The Bat.

Enjoy, Nerds! (says the guy who nerded out so hard he had to break down a trailer with his nerdisms)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Review: Jeff, Who Lives at Home (2012)

Jeff, Who Lives at Home, directed by Jay and Mark Duplass (Cyrus, Nights and Weekends), tells the story of Jeff (believe it or not)- played by Jason Segel (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, The Muppets)- a man in his thirties struggling to understand his “destiny” whilst living in his mother’s (Susan Sarandon) basement. Finding it difficult to persuade Jeff to even simply clean the gutters, his mother calls on brother Pat (Ed Helms) to reach out to Jeff with the hopes of making a breakthrough. Though Jeff may not have a job, a wife, or a Porsche like Pat, he seems to have a connection to the cosmos of the universe- paying attention to signs such as recurring names and numbers and following his heart. On this particular day, these signs have led the brothers to discovering a strange, secret relationship that has formed between Pat’s wife and an unknown man. In order to get to the bottom of this, however, Pat and Jeff will have to act like true brothers: something they haven’t done in a long time. Will the duo solve of this mystery? Will they strangle each other in the meantime? Will Jeff climb out of this ditch of dawdling despair?

The Duplass brothers are known (at least by myself) for creating real comedies. No explosions; no unrealistic, wacky characters; they direct films for us, about us. As a result of this, we find ourselves far more emotionally drawn to the characters of their films than to say, the characters of Anchorman (though a thoroughly enjoyable slapstick comedy). The film begins with an audio journal, spoken by the title character, about his thoughts on the film Signs and how he believes there are signs everywhere if you open your mind to them. Much like the film Signs, Jeff, Who Lives at Home comes full circle, with many laughs and heartfelt moments along the way. Regardless of which character you relate to most, the pathos and wide range of personality in this film will cling to something deep inside you and make investing your time and attention for ninety minutes not only enjoyable, but a necessity. With films such as Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakwal and Bucky Larson: Born to be a Star out there, it’s great when films like Jeff show up and remind me that not every project is solely a paycheck, and some films were written and directed with a love for story-telling. I paid for a movie, and I left the theater- credits rolling behind me- with a new pep in my walk for free. Jeff, Who Lives at Home is an ideal cinematic experience, earning 4 stars in my book.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I'm moving on up!

To those that have enjoyed my reviews here at "You Had Me at 'Movie Blog'", I am moving on up to bigger and better things. You can find me at with the assistence of a couple friends. I will continue reviewing classic and recent films, as well as providing you with the most up-to-date and rediculous news and posting weekly podcasts of our top three favorite films in all categories. Hope to see you there, feel free to comment and subscribe-- stay classy nerds!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Review: Limitless (2011)

Based on the novel "The Dark Fields" by Alan Glynn and directed by Neil Burger, Limitless tells the story of Eddie Morra (Bradley Cooper), a dawdling writer who has yet to write a word of his "promising" novel. Upon crossing paths with an old friend and drug dealer, he is introduced to a pill that allows the user to use the eighty percent of their brain that usually remains dormant. Fascinated by this new drug's effects, Eddie returns for more only to discover that his dealer had been murdered. Startled, Morra searches the man's apartment in search of his stash and discovers that his friend's assassins looked over one compartment containing a large supply of the drug and drug money. Within a matter of days he had completed his book and publishers were lining up to assist him. In a matter of weeks he was advising the most financially gifted individual in America- Carl Van Loon (Robert De Niro). Though life now seems flawless, there are both those who have previously known of this drug and those who have discovered this pill through the actions of Eddie, and they all are after it. This film is exceedingly original (which is rare these days) and effectively nerve-racking. From the moment the drug is induced, the viewers themselves seek more, gnawing their fingernails and edging the tips of their seats. Though containing a strong plot and high octane energy, the lead role could have been better cast. Sure, Bradley Cooper is strapping and has had a fairly diverse early career (Wedding Crashers, Midnight Meat Train), however, in a role where we have to believe in early scenes that he isn't talented or attractive (like most 90's Sandra Bullock films) he is strongly unconvincing- much like he doesn't convince us in later scenes that he has a "four digit" I.Q. Don't get me wrong, the film works regardless, with the always assuring performance of De Niro and stout direction of Neil Burger (The Illusionist). Additionally, the film serves as a very fine portrayal of addiction- how it affects the addict and those who love the addict-- I was impressed. Though the film would have benefitted from casting such a performer as Sam Rockwell for instance, Limitless is a non-stop anxious thrill-ride that won't let go until the credits roll, earning it a solid 3 out of 4 stars.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Review: The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

In his directorial debut, screenwriter George Nolfi brings to the screen The Adjustment Bureau, starring Matt Damon as David Norris- a politician who's life will soon be altered indefinitely. Moments before one of the most crucial speeches of his life, David encounters the love of his life- Elise (Emily Blunt). Unsatisfied with the brief moment shared before their separation, Norris pursues his soul mate. Upon reacquainting with his paramour, Norris' world is disorientated as he discovers that their is a bureau of men that oversee, and at times alter, everyday human life. This bureau's need to interfere with and re-aline David's life is due to his intrusion of the big plan. David's fate with Elise is not only against the plan of whom the bureau refers to as "the chairman" (which would of course be known as God to us; and no, the part is not played by Morgan Freeman), but it will allegedly lead to the failure of both David and Elise to accomplish their own individual dreams. David- alone in his knowledge of this authority- must take matters into his own hands to defy the "plan" and live his life with the woman of his dreams. Having written such screenplays as Ocean's Twelve and The Bourne Ultimatum (he must appreciate Damon), it is no surprise that The Adjustment Bureau is such a success, as it is the first opportunity for Nolfi to portray his own tale. Though to the naked eye the story seems original, anyone who has seen Alex Proyas' Dark City (1998) will find the Bureau a bit too familiar. However, the film has a convincing enough chemistry between Blunt and Damon and enough of a Nolfi accent to stand alone. The performances were exceptional across the board, from Damon and Blunt to Anthony Mackie (The Hurt Locker), John Slattery (Mad Men), and Terrance Stamp (Superman). Additionally, there were many philosophically astonishing takes on religion and higher powers. Though containing a partially borrowed plot, The Adjustment Bureau is original enough, and is accompanied by fine filmmaking and remarkable performances- scoring it 31/2 stars in my book.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Review: Drive Angry 3-D (2011)

Director Patrick Lussier's Drive Angry 3-D, starring Nicolas Cage and his hair, tells the implausible tale of a durable shell of a man that escapes from Hell to avenge the death of his daughter. Milton (Cage) has spent the preceeding years of existence viewing the struggles of his loved ones in a cell of the underworld. The most recent and devastating site he has witnessed is his daughter's conversion to the occult. The fuse that detonated Milton's escape from Hell was sparked by the devlish, devious leader of this cult (Billy Burke, Feast of Love, Fracture)- who murdered his daughter abd kidnapped his granddaughter. Alongside Milton on this high-octane hunt is a waitress (Amber Heard, Pineapple Express) who is providing wheels and good looks I suppose. Hot on Milton's trail of firey wreckage is Satan's right-hand man, The Accountant (William Fichtner, Armageddon, Black Hawk Down) and the local Sherrif's Department. Will Milton and his unrealistically attractive waitress have what it takes to save the child? As most are aware of the infamous Nic Cage's recent debt issue, many moviegoers are well prepared for garbage at showings of recent Cagesploitation films. Occasionally however, Cage and/or Cage's agent will have a short stroke of genius (i.e. Werner Herzog's Bad Lieutenant- Port of Call- New Orleans). Drive Angry is not one of those occasions. With such a synopsis and such a leading star, I was not expecting a breath-taking cinematic masterpiece, however I was prepared to turn my brain off and enjoy an exploited non-stop, action flick. The problem with Drive Angry is that it takes the "awesomely" out of awesomely bad. Films such as Machete and Black Dynomite succeed because they know their identity- they are over the top films that have no problem making fun of themselves. The only individuals making fun of Drive Angry, however, are the viewers and critics- and not in the good way. A few saving graces of the film were the money spent on special effects, the atmosphere of a Grindhouse Feature, David Morse (though could have used much more of him), and the always impressive- yet underrated- William Fichtner. Fichtner's charm and on-screen charisma redeemed many scenes from mediocrity. The final twenty minutes of the film were much more enjoyable than the preceeding hour and fourteen, however not enough to completely rescue this film from a state of dullness (which is a state that would seem hard to achieve for a film about a Hell escapee avenging his daughter's death). Drive Angry is a mildly enjoyable Redbox candidate, scoring 2 stars.